He has it under control!

"I AM ABLE to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. Come to Me with positive expectations, knowing that there is no limit to what I can accomplish. Ask My Spirit to control your mind, so that you can think great thoughts of Me. Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life."

WOW! Talk about being exactly what I needed to hear/read. This was from my Jesus Calling desk calendar yesterday. Talk about being on point. I know that God has a plan for my life and I know that His timing is perfect, but it is so easy to get caught up in it all and to feel so helpless and to forget that HE HAS IT UNDER CONTROL. My goal this year is to stop focusing on me and focus on Him. He can do far greater things than I could ever imagine! 

So I decided the other day that I wanted to try acupuncture. I really wanted to do it before my transfer, but then I realized that I had probably waited too long to really get any benefit from it for the first round, but I decided that I had nothing to lose (except a couple hundred dollars) by giving it a try. So I went to my first appointment yesterday and it was awesome. First off, the lady was super nice and so caring. As soon as we sat down to talk, she started asking me questions and I just burst into tears. She seemed so genuinely concerned and going into it, I felt fine, but apparently I really needed to let it out. Once we got started, she basically told me that I was holding onto stress. I had two needles in each foot, two in each hand and one needle behind each ear near the base of my neck. I was told to lay there for 30 minutes, relax and think of things that made me happy. That was a little difficult because the place behind my left ear was throbbing like crazy, but not in a this needle hurts kind of way, but a man something is working kind of way. I went ahead and paid for 4 sessions because you got a discount that way, so I am eager to keep going back and see my progress. 

The acupuncturist did tell me that she would really like to see me once a week for 3 full months with me before my next transfer, but that the decision was completely up to me. She also told me that because of my job (I'm a tax accountant for a public firm) that she would not suggest trying to do a transfer until April when my busy season was over. I totally get this, but gah it is so hard to wait. I am so conflicted because on the one hand, I don't want to wait, but on the other hand, if I went ahead and did the FET in the next month or two, while things were hectic at work and I was stressed and then it didn't work, I would feel so guilty and upset that I didn't just wait the couple of months. My husband is of the mind set that we should just keep going, he said we could do it all the way through my busy season if we needed, but the thing he is forgetting is that all of this cost money, like a lot of money. And while you can not put a price on something you so desperately want, you also have to be realistic about what you can handle.

I have an appointment with my fertility doctor tomorrow to see where we go from here. I am sure that he is going to want me to take a month off, to get my body back to normal, which I don't completely disagree with. I'm hoping that after the appointment tomorrow, I will know exactly what I should do. In a way it would kind of be nice to take a couple of months where we could just try naturally. My mind is just so conflicted right now as to what I should do, I hope that it becomes very apparent in the next couple of days and I can be at peace with whatever decision I make.