After our first round of IVF didn't work, we were ready to jump right back in with a FET. I knew deep down that it wasn't a great time, because work is really stressful and busy during this time of year, but I didn't care because I didn't want to sit around for four months not doing anything and my desire was/is greater than ever to do whatever is possible to have a family. I told my doctor that we were ready to move forward with the FET and was under the impression that we could get started right away. All the while I would pray that if it wasn't in Gods plan for us to do this right now to show me a sign.
My first sign came a week after I had told the clinic to make my FET schedule. Like I said I was under the impression that it would take no time at all and within three weeks, we would be doing the transfer. So when I hadn't received my calendar, I emailed the nurse to see what the deal was. That's when I was informed that it could take up to two weeks to create and get a calendar approved. I was a little frustrated, but there was nothing I could do about it. When I finally did get my calendar, I realized that what I thought would take no time at all was going to end up spanning over a month and a half which put me at the busiest time of the year at work. Wanting it so bad, I decided to just go ahead and do it.
The next sign was when I called pharmacy to get my prescription filled. They informed me that they didn't have any Lupron available because their was a manufacturer shortage and they weren't sure when they would receive any. I was beyond devastated, but once I called my husband and cried to him and got it all out of my system I started thinking. All along my prayer had been for God to give me a sign if this was the right time. And it wasn't, so He did.
It was a hard thing for me to not call every pharmacy I could think of to see if I could get my hands on some Lupron because that is what I so selfishly wanted to do. But I trust 100% in Gods greater plan and I am so thankful that He loves me enough to not only hear my prayers, but answer them. I have realized that His answer might not always be what I want, but it will always come from a place of love and it'll always 100% of the time be the right thing. I have such a peace knowing that He hears my prayers and I have faith In His plan and truly believe that one day He will answer our prayers and bless us with a baby.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
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