God is good.

So I had my egg retrieval this past Friday and everything went smoothly, thank goodness. I have never had any kind of surgery before, so this was a new experience for me, but all of the doctors and nurses were so kind and encouraging, so that made me feel at ease. The procedure only took like 30 minutes which was a little shorter than I would have thought, but I'm not complaining.

They were able to retrieve 15 eggs which is about what I expected since that is how many had been showing on the ultrasound. Two were damaged and unusable. So they fertilized 9 using ICSI and 4 were put in the petridish with sperm. Unfortunately none of the four in the petridish fertilized, which is kind of a sign that we did the right think by doing IVF, but at the same time it is a little discouraging that they couldn't even find each other in a little dish, so the chances of them finding each other naturally just don't seem very likely. But I have to remember that God is bigger than all of this, and he already has the perfect plan.

I have been called three times since then by the "baby sitter." The first time she told me all of the above, as well as the fact that 5 of them were looking like they should. This was a little discouraging because I was and am aware that the closer in gets to day four, the numbers of embryos that hang on gets smaller and smaller. All day Saturday I had to remind myself that it only takes one and God is in control. When I got the call yesterday, she said they they had found one other that was splitting like it was supposed to, so now we had 6 that had between 4-6 cells, so they were growing just like they should. I was encouraged to hear that another one decided to join in the fun! The call this morning was much like yesterday that we have 5 that have 8 cells like they should and the 1 that they found a little late was doing good between 4-6 cells.

My transfer is scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. I am so beyond excited for it, but nervous at the same time, The next two weeks are going to be the longest of my life. Please pray with me that my little babies will continue growing like they should, so that if it is God's will, we will have two to transfer and a couple to freeze for a future transfer.

God is good!

Rejoice Always

The sermon at church two weeks ago was from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and it felt like God was speaking directly to me. We are in the midst of our first IVF cycle and obviously it is a less than ideal way to conceive a child. I could dwell on this, and the fact that we used a big chunk of our savings in order to make this happen, or I could praise God that he led us to our doctor and made it possible for us to be able to afford IVF. This is His plan, it was meant to happen this way and I will praise Him during this time; for allowing us to make others aware of the difficulties of infertility, for allowing us to grow closer to Him and each other, for allowing Him to use me in the way that He has planned. I feel such a peace as we go through this cycle and I have faith that, whatever the outcome, God is with us.

I am on day two of the hMG/FSH shots and have my first ultrasound Wednesday. The husband was out of town when I started giving myself shots, so I have been doing them myself. I'm pretty much a pro now, although now that we are dealing with a bigger needle, I'm glad to have him back to help me out! Our egg retrieval is set for the 11th and I could not be more excited, I can't believe this is all happening!

who i am. who i'm not. who i want to be.

So since I am new to this whole blog thing and I haven't taken the time to get the blog set up with pictures and an about me and such, I thought I would share some random facts so that you can get to know me better.


1. I'm addicted to reality TV.
2. I'm a definite homebody.
3. Candy is my weakness. Mostly candy that isn't chocolate.
4. Growing up I couldn't wait to have a "business job" so that I could get dressed up everyday and now I hate it, I dress down as much as possible without getting in trouble.
5. My sisters are my best friends.
6. I can't sleep if there are any sort of noises going on.
7. I rode a mini roller coaster (we're talking like super mini, like at a county fair) when I was a kid and it scarred me for life. I do not do roller coasters.
8. I'm definitely not a morning person, but I'm not a night owl either, I like my sleep.
9. I wish I was good at taking pictures and remembering to take pictures (hints why this blog doesn't have any pictures on it yet, got to get some updated ones)
10. I love crafting.
11. I'm horrible at making decisions, especially if someone else is effected by them.
12. I'm working towards getting my CPA (Certified Public Accountant) license. One test down, three to go.
13. I'm a super shy, super private person, so having a blog is definitely out of my comfort zone.
14. I may be 27, but I still consider myself to be a kid. It freaks me out to think of how long I have been out of school.
15. I love singing, but am NOT a good singer. I love taking road trips with my sister so we can sing the whole way. Our duet of choice is does he love you.
16. I love 90's country.
17. I listen to the Bobby Bones Show religiously.
18. I'm a Texas girl through and through.
19. I am a C. I am a C-H. I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N. and I have C-H-R-I-S-T in my H-E-A-R-T and I will L-I-V-E E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y.
20. It would be awesome if I didn't have to work, but I'm pretty sure I would go crazy with all the free time.


So there you go. In other news, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to see if the cysts left over from the last IUI have gone away. We're hopeful that they have, and if so, then we will most likely move forward with IVF. Bring on the debt, shots and hopefully baby(ies).

silly me.

Ever since we got diagnosed as “infertile” I have wanted to start a blog. I have found so much comfort and hope in reading others who were so open and candid about their struggles and I wanted a way to connect with them, while hopefully helping others find the same things in my words and trials. There were a couple of problems though. 1) I am NOT a writer 2) I am not that tech savvy when it comes to webpages and such 3) Who would want to read my story? 4) Do I really want to be so candid about something so personal? 5) I was sure I was going to be one of the “lucky ones” who did one IUI, became pregnant and lived happily ever after…. Silly me.

Two failed IUI’s later and I still have all of those problems, but I am ready to push my fear aside and release all of my sadness, anger, frustration and heartache through this blog, my blog. I am not doing this for anyone else, I have to do it for myself. So what if no one ever reads it? If it makes me feel better, then why not. So here goes nothing. I hope through this I can connect with others who share the same fears and struggles as I do, as well as anyone else who might stumble upon the blog. I hope that one day I can look back on this and remember how far I have come.

So buckle up and enjoy this crazy ride with me.